trainspotting

Frontline Al-Qaeda suspects
looking at the 15:05 from Euston

Trainspotters are now considered the top terrorist threat - what with their writing down of numbers of trains and making notes of how many wheels the engine has - and taking photographs of stations - and keeping the anorak business in - er - business - and supporting railway buffets.

Johnny Jobsworth (Rail Division) has banned train spotters from some stations and is demanding that all train spotters are registered before they flash their - notebooks. As telling the times of trains could be useful to a terrorist organisation. However we British have already beaten this threat as no one can predict when a particular train is going to arrive or leave.

Following the logic that train spotters are subversives - it suggests anyone sitting in a station buffet - looking out of the window - and - er drinking more than one cup of coffee - could be considered suspicious - I mean - have you ever tasted the coffee from one of these places.

So bin Laden - we know your plot - the total destruction of the British railway system - so were you behind the placing of the wrong kind of leaves on the line? We need to know.

Or could it be that all the companies running the railways are in fact Al Qaeda fronts? - sapping the British morale - again we should be told.