... the butler did it ...

Oh no he didn't - oh yes he did.

Paul Burrel, Princess Di's butler, was aquitted of stealing from her estate. He had told the Queen he was going to take some of her belongings to protect them, but would not tell his defence lawyer this fact. The Queen only got around to notifying the police a day or so ago. News story

"Well Guv I wus reading this Agatha Christie and she says that the butler always does it."

"Get on to it - Seargeant - I fink your're right - his eyebrows are far too close."

... later

" Ello is that Prince Charles, you're royal 'Ighness - Sir."

"Get orff Camilla - erm - Yeuss."

"Princess Di's butler is a wrong 'un Sir.'

"He's got money in the bank."

"Money - why we don't pay our staff money to squander - by er - putting it in the bank. Can we put him in the Tower?"

"No Sir - but we'll get him bang to rights and then bang him up for life."

... later

"and as the Princess said to me. 'It is far better to give than to receive..."

"You're under arrest - you scum. Stealing from 'Er 'Oliness, Princess Di - why that makes you worse than any murder or other criminal I've ever met."

"But I..."

"Don't give me that - the Super wants the Royal Appointment sign above the Blue Lamp"

... and so on.

This has pushed friends of mine into becoming republicians.

The History of the Guillotine You never know when you might need one.