in the pan

A good example of ODTAA - One Damn thing After Another.

My toilet roll holder is broke - and I can't find my drill - or to be more truthful - I can't face the hassle of hunting through the garage - which has never been used for a car - but is full of junk - sorry - valuable books - stuff for the house - stuff that should have been recycled a century ago - and tools.

I went to have a pee - and being male - that meant standing up - lifting the seat - and - yes - I do put the seat down when I'm finished - though guys - if you are being nagged - don't lift the seat up in the first place - then the habit of leaving the seat up - is a less obnoxious habit than leaving the seat damp - but I digress.

I sneezed - proving quite conclusively that men can do two thing at one - in this case peeing and sneezing - and I was able to do this without mishap or missed direction.

Being on a roll - that is being skilled in multi-tasking - rather than anything else - I decided to impress myself - there being no one else in the bathroom - by continuing to pee one handed - a skill most men achieve by early middle age - and grabbing for a piece of toilet paper with my other hand - to blow my nose.

The toilet roll holder collapsed - the virtually brand new toilet roll fell - bounced on the waste bin - and bounced straight into the pan - and immediately started sinking. I was still peeing and this was wetting the dry top of the roll. There was nothing I could do until I had finished.

By now the roll was have submerged with eau d'toillette as the French say and the top of the roll sodden by splash back from my peeing.

Being squeamish - and a sensitive soul - I went and got an old set of barbecue tongs - and put said toilet roll - into three layers of carrier bag and then wrapped it up with the tongs in a large black rubbish sack.

This is all before my morning coffee. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!