... the bell on the bus ...

... no longer goes ding a ling a ling.

It sort of just goes clunk and a remote sign lights up.

The people on the bus looked so unhappy and almost scared. Don't hit me. Don't punch me and please don't - whatever you do - talk to me.

The bus got me into town too early. So I ended up going to a coffee bar - and read the Daily Mail - which is all very depressing news - fire strike - economy collapsing - house prices collapse - and even celebrity big brother - Anne Diamond depressed. Still there was an excuse to print a picture of Melinda Messenger wearing very little - as it was an essential part of the story - well we wouldn't want to put anything in gratuitous - would we? - we're a serious newspaper.

So having arrived half and hour early - I actually ended up arriving twenty minutes late.