... lancashire otpotss ...

I was of the generation that 'gay outing' meant a lively picnic, with a strong possibility of bread being thrown around.

The government has now come up with the term otpotss which stands for "orientation towards people of the same sex" to replace the term 'homosexual' in government anti-discrimination legislation. Apparently homosexual is too clinical a term.

So 'straights', 'hetros' or whatever are they going to be called otpotos - "orientation towards people of the opposite sex". Bisexuals - 'otpotsaoos' - "orientation towards people of the same and or opposite sex" or by the simpler term 'aoias' - "any orifice in a storm" - now there's a word I'd like for Scrabble.

Andrew Brown's Guardian article Sense and Sexuality tell us that practicing otpotsss - working on the theory that practice make perfect - now use the term mo - replacing the over used gay - with the term mo.

So a flash gay guy is now called 'fly mo' or a very camp person can be called "so mo they went to mo a meadow".

And as a caller to the Wright Stuff, Channel Five, asked - What is going to happen in Manchester - with "Lancashire 'Otpotss" - I suppose it would make a good name for a club down Canal Street - then again ...

I feel the homosexual community has suffered enough - without this stupid set of initials. After all look how otpotos dress - otpotos? - 'ot potatoes more like it.