... I've joined the coupon shoppers ...
I got lured by my wife into late night shopping in Staines. There was a special discount night in Debenhams.
We got to store five minutes after the opening. We all queued up with our special invites and coupons. It was at this stage I started panicking. I was the only the male in a room of 200+ people who didn't work in Debenhams.
I managed to get through the beauty section without being maced with 'Desire at Midnight' by the blond girl with the permed hair. Romantic tears are often brought on by an overdose of sweet smelling chemicals.
I made my way to the men's section and bought some Gap trousers. If I'm wearing then they're no longer fashionable and Gap is doomed!!!! Sell your shares immediately.
My wife was on the next floor buying a bra. I am English - I fear lingerie departments. I stood in the aisle waiting for her. Poor fool - this is worse than standing near her. A lone man, trying not meet anyone's eye standing close to all that ladies underwear. Call the detective.
A woman I worked with once asked why do women buy most men's underwear and men don't buy women underwear. The reason is simple women can't wear the underwear that men buy. Guys think the stuff they buy at Christmas is romantic, but the real reason woman want to get the gear off is that they can't stand being trussed up like a chicken. Women buy men underwear for hygienic purposes.
Going back to the store I then escaped to the restaurant to read a freebie copy of Mr Archer's 'Jail Diary' I've learnt the true meaning of schadenfrauder - I bet that's spelt wrong. Good old 'Sir Jeff' as he is now called trials and tribulations include having the warders call out all the designer labels he is wearing before being strip searched. He was warned not to believe what the other inmates tell him - the warning should be the other way.
He has been put in a wing that has only long term prisioners, such as murders. This sound barbaric, but is ironically the safest place in prision, as these prisioners have the most to lose if they cause trouble., ie years of being in worse conditions. Jeffrey does have his own cell however - it might be a barbaric condition to make other prisoners share with him.
We got to store five minutes after the opening. We all queued up with our special invites and coupons. It was at this stage I started panicking. I was the only the male in a room of 200+ people who didn't work in Debenhams.
I managed to get through the beauty section without being maced with 'Desire at Midnight' by the blond girl with the permed hair. Romantic tears are often brought on by an overdose of sweet smelling chemicals.
I made my way to the men's section and bought some Gap trousers. If I'm wearing then they're no longer fashionable and Gap is doomed!!!! Sell your shares immediately.
My wife was on the next floor buying a bra. I am English - I fear lingerie departments. I stood in the aisle waiting for her. Poor fool - this is worse than standing near her. A lone man, trying not meet anyone's eye standing close to all that ladies underwear. Call the detective.
A woman I worked with once asked why do women buy most men's underwear and men don't buy women underwear. The reason is simple women can't wear the underwear that men buy. Guys think the stuff they buy at Christmas is romantic, but the real reason woman want to get the gear off is that they can't stand being trussed up like a chicken. Women buy men underwear for hygienic purposes.
Going back to the store I then escaped to the restaurant to read a freebie copy of Mr Archer's 'Jail Diary' I've learnt the true meaning of schadenfrauder - I bet that's spelt wrong. Good old 'Sir Jeff' as he is now called trials and tribulations include having the warders call out all the designer labels he is wearing before being strip searched. He was warned not to believe what the other inmates tell him - the warning should be the other way.
He has been put in a wing that has only long term prisioners, such as murders. This sound barbaric, but is ironically the safest place in prision, as these prisioners have the most to lose if they cause trouble., ie years of being in worse conditions. Jeffrey does have his own cell however - it might be a barbaric condition to make other prisoners share with him.
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